


maybe you're not really gone at all

by MythologicalHoe



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alzheimer's Disease, Angst and Feels, Cuddling & Snuggling, Early onset alzheimer's, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, Non-Linear Narrative, Partially Based on Firewatch, Partially Based on This Is Us, Pregnancy, Professor Ben Solo, Sad Ending, Tragedy, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Writers, learning to cope
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-09
Updated: 2019-03-08
Packaged: 2019-11-14 05:17:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18046202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MythologicalHoe/pseuds/MythologicalHoe
Summary: Rey and Ben have finally seemed to get happy when a mishap at work leads to Ben getting diagnosed with something that changed his and Rey's lives forever.





	maybe you're not really gone at all

**Author's Note:**

> Just a warning; this fic is going to be really sad, it's not going to end on a happy note. Thanks

 

** SPRING 2019 **

** We find happiness now, even if we won’t have it forever.  **

When Rey and Ben first met, he was  Kylo . She was out on the bridge at the park, looked down at the trickling water that rolled over the stones and kept spilling down the hill that she was on.  Kylo  was being a typical asshole to one of her friends and a fight started out. Rey had her backpack on and it was full of her textbooks. She ran over the bridge and hit him in the head with it. He fell right to the ground and got a bloody nose. It was April then. 

He didn’t look up at her like he was mad, he just looked embarrassed, like he deserved it and he knew that he deserved it. The both of them had been in sophomore year.

It was April when Rey found out she was pregnant. It was a dream that she had always had, she wanted to start a family and she felt like she had finally found the person that she wanted to settle down with. It didn’t come easy, but Rey and Ben had been together since senior year of high school now. Rey loved Ben to pieces, but she didn’t know what his reaction was going to be when he found out that she was pregnant. Leia was the first person that Rey called while Ben was at work. “Hey, Rey. What’s up?”

“Uhm, is there anyone around you right now?” 

“No, why?” 

“I need to tell you something.” She was so happy, but also nervous. Stupid hormones. 

“Okay,” 

“I’m pregnant.” The excitement that she got from Leia was something that she expected, although she still didn’t know how Ben was going to react to it all. 

“That’s amazing.” She went through a tidal wave of emotions in the span of a few seconds, being excited to start a family, being scared to tell Ben, being scared about the fact that she was harboring a life in her, and she was just scared. So, so scared. Leia was thrilled though, she was finally going to be a grandmother, why wouldn’t she be thrilled? 

“How do you think Ben’s going to react?” She asked her. 

“Honey, he’s going to be so happy.” She said. “There’s no question about it. He’ll probably cry though, so get ready for that.” 

“Okay, thank you.” She was glad that today was her day off, so she could have the time that she needed to emotionally prepare herself for everything else that was about to go on. 

“You don’t need to worry, sweetheart.” She told her. That didn’t help as much as Rey had hoped it would’ve, but she still appreciated the sentiment that Leia gave it. The both of them talked about how pretty Leia’s grandkids were going to be for a few minutes before Rey hung up and waited. 

Her anxiety was getting the best of her. She started cleaning before she got tired and resigned herself to watching Netflix on the couch until Ben got home. Her favorite part of the day was always the part of the day where she watched him walk through the door. It wasn’t just because Ben Solo looked damn good in a suit but because she felt like when he was gone, a part of herself waited with him until he came back home. He always had a smile on his face when he saw her. 

God, Rey loved him. “Hey, babe.” He kissed her on top of the head and came around the couch to come sit down and lay down on her  lap. She wrinkled her nose. 

“No, get off me.” She said half-heartedly. 

“Never,” Rey laughed a little, putting a hand in his hair as the two of them stayed quiet. They didn’t always need to talk for the two of them to be happy. She just loved the fact that he was there. “How was your day?” He asked her. 

“I should be the one asking you the questions.” She said. “So how was your day?” 

“Full of teaching college kids who didn’t read the book that we’re going over.” He laughed. 

“Sounds fun,” 

“Yes, so fun.” He rolled his eyes. 

“Don’t pretend like you read the books in college,” Rey said, “Karma.” 

“True, don’t call me out like that though.” 

***

It was junior year that  Kylo  came to Rey and told her that he needed help with school. The two of them were frenemies at most at that point, but Rey was too nice to say no and she felt sorry for him. “I will, on one condition.” She told him. He looked like he was desperate.

“Anything.” He had told her. 

“You have to stop getting in trouble. Stop the fights.” It took a minute but he agreed to it. She didn’t think that she would have him fall in love with her slightly after.  Kylo  became Ben Solo within a matter of months of her starting to tutor him. 

He started to actually be vulnerable around her, telling Rey about how much the ongoing divorce between his parents was really messing with him even though he was almost an adult. How it was making it harder to focus in school. 

Rey got that. 

Even if she never had parents of her own. Ben had made an off handed comment about how he would never put his kids through that. 

***

“Can we order out?” Rey asked him. 

“Don’t want to cook?” 

“Not really,” 

“Chinese or Pizza,” 

“Pizza.” Rey hoped that she wasn’t going to regret this later, but she smiled and watched as he ordered. She wasn’t sure if she should wait to tell him about everything. She decided that she couldn’t wait. She watched him hang up the phone before saying that she needed to talk to him. 

“Okay, are you okay?” 

“Yeah, yeah.” Rey said. “I just have to tell you something.” 

“Okay,” Ben actually looked nervous, and Rey was afraid for that, so she just said it. 

“I’m pregnant.” She was prepared for the worst but she knew that it shouldn’t have been. The first reaction that he had was to blink in silence. “How do you feel about that?” 

It took him another minute before he told her, “That’s great.” He stumbled over his words, but she could tell that he was really excited. The smile on his face reminded Rey of the reason why she married this man. It reminded her of what Leia told her earlier. That he would be thrilled. “That’s so amazing, oh my god. When did you find out?” 

“I took the test around lunch time, and then took two more just to make sure.” Maybe the anxiety in her voice made Ben concerned.

“You want to keep it right?” 

“Yeah,” Rey said, “of course I want to keep it. I’ve wanted to start a family ever since I was a kid. Sorry, it’s just...hormones.” 

“It’s okay,” He told her, Ben swept her up and Rey audibly yelped. “It’s okay. It’s okay.” Rey closed her eyes as she felt his lips on her neck. It seemed that as if on cue, the door rang. Ben looked up and groaned in frustration. 

“Yay, pizza.” 

“ Haha ,” Ben rolled his eyes before taking in the pizza and paying the guy. “We need to celebrate.” 

“We really don’t.” 

“Yes, we do.” 

 


End file.
